Losing face

Exactly a year ago on a Wednesday I was bitten by a spider. Nasty little things, spiders. They're fine while they keep to their corners, but if they come out to snack in the midnight hours, bang go all my greenie sentiments.

By Thursday lunchtime I could feel that my face was swelling up. Allergies are not easy to live with. By Friday morning I was unrecognisable – even by my mother. The worst thing was that I knew I should get to a doctor, but appearing in public would have been an experience comparable to a shopping trip on the last Saturday of the month for the Elephant Man.

I drew my curtains, switched off the telephone, took my antihistamines and retired to my bed. I would have put the back of my hand to my forehead in true Victorian style – if I could find my forehead, that is. I had a face that could scare little children and make adults run away screaming.

It made me wonder what life must be like for people who have permanent facial disfigurement – serious burns, a hectic skin disorder, birthmarks or a harelip. Going anywhere, or applying for a job must be a nightmare. At least these days people are no longer carted off to circuses to spend a lifetime being stared at and mocked in order to earn a living.

Mocking kids
But I don't think we have come all that far. Just think what an albino child, a fat kid or even just a child with bright red hair goes through at school. Some kids are strong and can deal with the mocking and the name-calling. But others cannot.

The fear of being made fun of and stared at keeps many people confined to their homes. In this way, they don't have to deal with anyone else except trusted family members and a close friend or two.

Right, I know it's probably just human nature to find something out of the ordinary worthy of a few stares. There's a reason why the bearded lady was such a money-spinner at Victorian circuses.

If you want to know what people are really like, take a look at how they treat someone who doesn't look the part, or is in a wheelchair, or is mentally disabled. These people know a lot more about humanity than your average person in the street – or the lack of humanity.

Only one way to look
Our society is so set on what they think people should look like – even just getting old is a problem. Think about the advertisements you see on TV. Nine out of ten people are young, pretty, energetic. The only old ones are portrayed as slightly batty, deaf, half blind or just downright helpless. No chance of growing old gracefully.

But I was lucky. Unlike people with permanent disfigurements, I looked better by the Saturday morning. By Saturday evening I actually went to the corner shop to buy toilet paper.

But just spare a thought for people whose problem can't be solved by antihistamines. It must be hard. And to everyone else: don't stare. It could have been you. There's a human being in there. Let's never forget that.

Susan